What makes a failure?
Why do some people have the constant feeling as if they are a failure?
What is the definition of failure?
I wish I had an answer to those questions, but, I can’t seem to find one. Honestly, I have tried my hardest to think why I get those thoughts and why I seem to think I am a failure- because, as previously stated, I don’t actually know what makes a failure, a failure.
After a lot of thinking about this term, I have come to a conclusion that it is such a SUBJECTIVE term that you can’t really define it.
YOU are the person who makes the decision on what you want to do and what you want to achieve. YOU put that pressure onto YOURSELF. YOU caused it. Day and night, YOU are the person who is striving to achieve your goals and as soon as you face a minor setback, YOU class yourself as a failure.
YOU hear it all the time ‘failure is good, you will learn from your mistakes’, and that is what you tell yourself every time you don’t feel great and when you have ‘failed’- but in reality, YOU don’t actually believe in that shit. Your mind is going at 23837 mph and you can’t really stop it- so, when people give you advice- it is pretty indifferent. Doesn’t actually make a difference to the pace at you’re going.
As humans we seem to feel this feeling of wanting to be the best and we just simply don’t want to fail- but when something along that road happens, you freak out because this was never in your plans! When you see things that have happened to people, you dismiss it and say, that will NEVER happen to me. But when it does, you break down.
Now you are scared of doing anything- in case you fail. You are terrified that it will happen again, you overthink all of the situations until you begin to get heart palpitations because you are scared.
You can’t move. You can’t think. You are not in your body. You are just looking at yourself from a window and there is nothing YOU can do about it. YOU are not in control.
When you classed things as a ‘failure’- well, why did you call it a failure? Are you that selfish that you just want to achieve and be the best? I don’t know.
You are stuck in a rut- you have come to the conclusion that you have got to do something about these recurring negative thoughts, something that has never crossed your mind because ‘normal’ people don’t go through that shit. It only happens on TV.
Funny, because now you need to get your anxiety treated at regular therapy sessions.
So, do yourself a favour and take life the way it goes, don’t put weight onto your shoulders because if you add too much, you will break down and getting back up is damn hard.
-Aylin
Aylin online 